Who am I now?

This study task was originally meant to be done at the beginning of the year however I never got round to doing it and now i don't feel i can honestly state how i felt at the beginning of the year. So i have decided to critically evaluate how I view my current state.

Currently I feel I should and could of done more with the PPP year. and the course as a whole. While i have been able to establish my area, my niche if you will, its a big niche. Character Design only requires a few people and a lot of people want to be doing it so to stand out from the crowd I need to be getting better and getting myself out there and constructively speaking I currently feel i did neither. I made a few attempts earlier in the year get out there but then i just stopped my apprehension and nerves got the better of me, i got bogged down by documenting and didn't make anything creative for a while, with the projects i was doing, applied, making my mood ever more down. Looking back on all the work i had done, it felt like there was barely anything. I did a few nice animations but comparing my most recent work with the work I had at the end of first year, theres been no growth as far as skill is concerned. A few new techniques that I've gotten to grips with, maya animating for example but nothing quantifiably another level of improvement. The other factor has been my lack of awareness awards opportunities and ignorance to them, I got lazy. There were so many opportunities literally handed to us over the year and i just ignored them or never followed through with wanting to do it. An example of this is, not putting myself forward for LYFF, because i didnt know, or i didnt think it would be of any benefit for me. I held contempt for it which was the wrong way for me to look at it, I should of done it any way as it could of presented to me a good opportunity to talk and meet professionals on a more natural ground rather than jumping into their faces.

These factors are all down to me and Im very much aware of them now. These mishaps and lack of progress is something I will be aiming to fix over summer and into third year. To start with I am applying for internships and volunteer work to go and visit more festivals and events but its simply a case of hearing back now and applying for more when they become available. I also plan to animate over the summer, not necessarily a short but 11 second clubs with a 3D character and rigs that have been down loaded. Finally i will be working on the preproduction and proposal of a short film to get people on my course to collaborate. Collaboration is something I want to push since we get into groups made up of our friends and not our skill sets meaning were having to do an aspect we don't enjoy lessening the experience. But if a large group of us can work together, working on the areas we like, such as characters, animation, effect, backgrounds etc we'd be able to create something that was clearly everyones project but something that can push all our desired areas of focus up. Im also offering what i can do as character designer and animator to other class mates, for them to essentially use me how they want. Im hoping that all of this will assist in going towards a much more productive and active year.